literature

Little Fuckup

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lykosonette's avatar
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Literature Text

I look in the mirror and wonder what you see
In this pathetic little fuck up which is me.
Because when you tell me of all the kind words,
Which I don't deserve,
All I see, when I look at me
Is a thing, little, ugly, and weak.

I try to show you what is me
I show you my soul
Or at least what is left
From all those years of self-hate and neglect 

But as soon as I see your eyes,
Your judgmental look,
And tone of voice,
Whether I imagined it or not,
I want to run away
Run as far as I can. 

But I never got far.
Because you gently grasped my hand,
And anchored me down.
You stayed next to me,
And told me how I am not what I see 

I yell, I scream, I struggle
"Get away from me! I am a monster... A mess... Too many flaws to possibly ever address."
Tears drip along my cheek,
Stinging me every bit of the way.

 "Let me g-"
You put a finger on my lips.
You whisper to me,
"You are not what you say you are. And no matter what you see, all I see is the perfect you. No matter what flaws you say you have, no matter what you think is bad, all I see is a perfect little you. Someone who cares, someone who listens, someone who knows the pain of others and always there to help.”

I shake my head,
Not knowing what to say. 
I look down at the ground
And I know how lucky I must be.

How lucky I must be to have you. 
How there is actually someone,
Who cares about me.

By Justin Lin
11/14/15
(Normal alias is Lykos, but I want to sign with my name this time)

For everyone who is still struggling with these thoughts... Hopefully you find that one perfect person. I do not know whether I have found that "perfect" person, for it takes time, but my friends now are always supportive and amazing, no matter how annoying I must be at times. 

This poem btw can be a lover, friend, anything really though. Just someone that supports you. 

~Lykos
© 2015 - 2024 lykosonette
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DeathRoe's avatar
This reminds me of me and my lover, he helps so much with my insecurities.

It's beautifully written, and so very true. I really love this piece.